This sucks. If you purge alot, its fairly enevitable that at some point you will screw the plumbing in your house up. And bear in mind its all connected-so if you block up your shower, or your toilet, then after a while everything else-sinks, basins, everything, will also start to back up. So its gross, but best to sort it out when it happens.
Also something to think about is that the acidity of vomit actually corrodes the pipes, which can lead to leaks-i know someone that this happend to, and eventually they had a leak in the cealing just below the bathroom...
Ok-so the best thing to do is put some gloves on, shut your eyes, and pull out the gunk. This works well with showers and sinks, and then poor as much THICK bleach (now is not the time for tesco value lol) as you can get hold of down the plug holes.Like im talking a couple of bottles for a few days. Same deal with toilets, except you need more bleach to do it properly-due to the gravity effect of how plumbing systems are layed out. You might also find that if it happens often, you need to invest in a 'toilet unblocker', a weird contraction which ooks like a suction pump, and doesnt use chemicals-so better for environment.They cost about a tenner from DIY shops and you can reuse them.
I know why lost of people do it-but try to avoid if you possibly can, throwing up in the shower, as these get backed up so easily.
I've also found in the past, when i have seriously screwed my plumbing up, that i have had to resort to puking in a bucket, lined with a carrier bag, which i then chucked into the bin on the pavement just along from my house. Im not proud-and yeh its gross. But id did save me about £500 on a plumber.
Again, im not encouraging purging here, but just some advise on dealing with it:)
xxx
Saturday 17 July 2010
Wednesday 14 July 2010
Distraction doesnt mean avoiding life
'distraction' is a word you will here bounced around in mental health a lot. And its a word that really gets my back up.
Dont confuse distracting yourself from maladaptive coping strategies, and avoiding life.
If you constantly try and distract yourself from how you are feeling, essentially you will end up avoiding living your life-and thats not going to get you anywhere. What distraction really means is that you have to develop new skills to deal with old feelings. For example, when i get upset, I am likely to deal with that by making myself sick. So what i need to do is learn to re-programme purging as my default setting to deal with upset, and replace it with something healthier, that keeps my mind away from that-something constructive, something i enjoy, you know the things i mean-and if you dont, start thinking about them. I know it sounds airy fairy and annoying-but truth is, recovery is alabout learning new skills to replace maladaptive behaviours, in response to emotional trauma.
Its ok to feel the feelings-its ok to think about them and try and deal with them-distraction doesnt mean avoiding the way you feel, it means trying to deal with it in a more healthy way.
By avoiding the way you feel, ultimately these things will become even nore overwhelming, and bulid up to something that seems impossible to cope with.
I said at the begining distraction-the dreaded 'd' word gets my back up-and it does. because mental health professionals sometimes mix up the meaning of 'distract' with 'avoid'. Hell, its good to talk-seriously, you have to be able to talk about the way you are feeling, get it out-if thats by talking, writing a diary, a blog, youtube vids, whatever. (while i think of it-when I first started trying to recover-i literally couldnt talk about anything. So i started to make youtube videos to help me learn to talk about things. because i had issues with saying things outloud-sounds weird, but it really helped me). Just dont get so busy trying to distract yourself you start avoiding life.
Accept the way you feel-its ok to feel however you feel. you dont need to justify it-but dont avoid it, and distract yourself from the associated behaviours, and not necessarily the feelings.
If this makes no sense then feel free to email eatingdisorderfairy@gmail.com, or leave a comment. I wanted to write this because the distinction between these things is something i find really helpful for myself-but if this just sounds totally whack, or confusing, then tell me so!
just-your feelings always catch up with you.Its better to deal with it - and try to change the way you do it-than avoid it.
take lots of care
xxx
Dont confuse distracting yourself from maladaptive coping strategies, and avoiding life.
If you constantly try and distract yourself from how you are feeling, essentially you will end up avoiding living your life-and thats not going to get you anywhere. What distraction really means is that you have to develop new skills to deal with old feelings. For example, when i get upset, I am likely to deal with that by making myself sick. So what i need to do is learn to re-programme purging as my default setting to deal with upset, and replace it with something healthier, that keeps my mind away from that-something constructive, something i enjoy, you know the things i mean-and if you dont, start thinking about them. I know it sounds airy fairy and annoying-but truth is, recovery is alabout learning new skills to replace maladaptive behaviours, in response to emotional trauma.
Its ok to feel the feelings-its ok to think about them and try and deal with them-distraction doesnt mean avoiding the way you feel, it means trying to deal with it in a more healthy way.
By avoiding the way you feel, ultimately these things will become even nore overwhelming, and bulid up to something that seems impossible to cope with.
I said at the begining distraction-the dreaded 'd' word gets my back up-and it does. because mental health professionals sometimes mix up the meaning of 'distract' with 'avoid'. Hell, its good to talk-seriously, you have to be able to talk about the way you are feeling, get it out-if thats by talking, writing a diary, a blog, youtube vids, whatever. (while i think of it-when I first started trying to recover-i literally couldnt talk about anything. So i started to make youtube videos to help me learn to talk about things. because i had issues with saying things outloud-sounds weird, but it really helped me). Just dont get so busy trying to distract yourself you start avoiding life.
Accept the way you feel-its ok to feel however you feel. you dont need to justify it-but dont avoid it, and distract yourself from the associated behaviours, and not necessarily the feelings.
If this makes no sense then feel free to email eatingdisorderfairy@gmail.com, or leave a comment. I wanted to write this because the distinction between these things is something i find really helpful for myself-but if this just sounds totally whack, or confusing, then tell me so!
just-your feelings always catch up with you.Its better to deal with it - and try to change the way you do it-than avoid it.
take lots of care
xxx
Friday 9 July 2010
A note about SI-safe disposal of sharps
Do the people that collect your rubbish a favour-they dont want to get cut by your sharps if a binbag slits open. So make sure you dispose of your blades, or whatever you use, carefully. Wrap them in newspaper, put them all in aplastic bottle-then wrap the bottle, theres lots of ways to do this and minimise harm to yourself and others by doing so.
The easiest way is to get yourself a sharps bin, like they use in hospitals etc. You can get really small ones, that are easy to hide/cover up/decorate/ whatever and this is really the best way. They are inexpensive-i use one that has a cpacity of 1 litre (and it really small) and it costs less than £1. You can get them from your GP, or if your not keen on that, most chemists (ap;art from BOOTS in the UK for some reason) can order them in for you. Then all you have to do is seal it when its full, and return it to the chemist, or your GP when you need to dispose of it. And dont be shy aboput getting one from the chemist-people get them fro all kinds of reasons-diabetics, those who are injecting fertility drugs, people get them for their pets if they need injecting etc etc-they are a ton of reasons you might need one, and you really dont have to worry the pharmacist will think your a junkie, or you SI or whatever.
It also discourages you from re-using your sharps-DONT do this, because you can get really horrid painful infections from this, i kid you not. But if you use something that isnt disposable-make sure its clean, and been disenfected if you possibly can.
take lots of care
xxx
The easiest way is to get yourself a sharps bin, like they use in hospitals etc. You can get really small ones, that are easy to hide/cover up/decorate/ whatever and this is really the best way. They are inexpensive-i use one that has a cpacity of 1 litre (and it really small) and it costs less than £1. You can get them from your GP, or if your not keen on that, most chemists (ap;art from BOOTS in the UK for some reason) can order them in for you. Then all you have to do is seal it when its full, and return it to the chemist, or your GP when you need to dispose of it. And dont be shy aboput getting one from the chemist-people get them fro all kinds of reasons-diabetics, those who are injecting fertility drugs, people get them for their pets if they need injecting etc etc-they are a ton of reasons you might need one, and you really dont have to worry the pharmacist will think your a junkie, or you SI or whatever.
It also discourages you from re-using your sharps-DONT do this, because you can get really horrid painful infections from this, i kid you not. But if you use something that isnt disposable-make sure its clean, and been disenfected if you possibly can.
take lots of care
xxx
More glamourous stuff
Someone left this as a comment on the previous post about purging-and it was really helpful, so thought i should make it its own post-so here it is-
"kind of related to blocking up your sinuses through purging is this: if you've got facial piercings, particularly nose and especially lip piercings, ever noticed that disgusting smell when you touch them/unscrew them? guess what that is. none other than acidy vomity bacteria. which can lead to horrible infections.
it clears up after a while, providing you haven't purged in a while, but i've found the best thing is to make sure you're keeping your piercings clean with savlon or some antibacterial spray, plus, washing them in salt water to keep them clean. and that will hopefully minimise the vomity smell and taste in your mouth/nose."
"kind of related to blocking up your sinuses through purging is this: if you've got facial piercings, particularly nose and especially lip piercings, ever noticed that disgusting smell when you touch them/unscrew them? guess what that is. none other than acidy vomity bacteria. which can lead to horrible infections.
it clears up after a while, providing you haven't purged in a while, but i've found the best thing is to make sure you're keeping your piercings clean with savlon or some antibacterial spray, plus, washing them in salt water to keep them clean. and that will hopefully minimise the vomity smell and taste in your mouth/nose."
it time to talk about gastric refux.
This is something that REALLY sucks. I think its something more commonly associated with people that purge lots, but i have known anorectics to suffer with it to.
In simple terms, its like this-the top of your oesophagus has a protective mechanism, controlled by muscles, which basically seals it off and keeps everything travelling down the right way. When you purge, the reflex you are stimulating to do so, is forcing this open, allowing food/vomit to come back up the 'wrong way'. If you do this a lot, then the muscles controlling it become weak-and eventually it is just an open tube, which means acid from your stomach ends ujp in your mouth and at the back of the throat, which is REALLY horrible. Leaning forward, laying down-you end up with a pool of acid in your mouth.
In all the books i have read about bulimia, i have never seen this discussed, and yet it is THE most coomon implication of purging.
The more you throw up, the worse it gets. I t does get better, but it takes quite a long time-and the only way to stop it is to stop purging.
I know thats a lot simpler said than done-like really, im there right now.
This is from personal experience-and not medical advice, but when it gets bad, ive found rinsing my mouth out with a timy bit of bicarb mixed in water helps a lot-on the same principle that it helps your teeth by neutralisng acid, it takes away the burny feeling. Yoghurt is also really soothing, but sometimes eating itself really irritats the condition-which is something you just-honestly have to try your best to ignore. Fruit juice can make it worse-as can anything that is acidic in its nature, but dont let your diet suffer because of this.
perserverance is the key here,
but i do know that it sucks. You can get meds to help it-and over the conter heartburn stuff can help too-but its kinda like sticking a plaster on a massive wound, yknow.
this is one where you have to work on the cause of the problem, and not primarily its symptoms..
but now i have depressed you thoroughly-il end by saying-it does get better.
take care xxx
In simple terms, its like this-the top of your oesophagus has a protective mechanism, controlled by muscles, which basically seals it off and keeps everything travelling down the right way. When you purge, the reflex you are stimulating to do so, is forcing this open, allowing food/vomit to come back up the 'wrong way'. If you do this a lot, then the muscles controlling it become weak-and eventually it is just an open tube, which means acid from your stomach ends ujp in your mouth and at the back of the throat, which is REALLY horrible. Leaning forward, laying down-you end up with a pool of acid in your mouth.
In all the books i have read about bulimia, i have never seen this discussed, and yet it is THE most coomon implication of purging.
The more you throw up, the worse it gets. I t does get better, but it takes quite a long time-and the only way to stop it is to stop purging.
I know thats a lot simpler said than done-like really, im there right now.
This is from personal experience-and not medical advice, but when it gets bad, ive found rinsing my mouth out with a timy bit of bicarb mixed in water helps a lot-on the same principle that it helps your teeth by neutralisng acid, it takes away the burny feeling. Yoghurt is also really soothing, but sometimes eating itself really irritats the condition-which is something you just-honestly have to try your best to ignore. Fruit juice can make it worse-as can anything that is acidic in its nature, but dont let your diet suffer because of this.
perserverance is the key here,
but i do know that it sucks. You can get meds to help it-and over the conter heartburn stuff can help too-but its kinda like sticking a plaster on a massive wound, yknow.
this is one where you have to work on the cause of the problem, and not primarily its symptoms..
but now i have depressed you thoroughly-il end by saying-it does get better.
take care xxx
Thursday 8 July 2010
Not so glamourous
Have you ever pondered why you always feel like you've got blocked nose and sinuses, if you have been purging lots?
Purge enough, on a regular basis, and thats not snot-its vomit. It drains in to your sinuses, irritates them from its acidity and blocks your nose up. Niiiiice.
Bet you never found that in a book or a pro site, eh?
take care
xxx
ps-it totally clears up after a long period without purging, bit its sooo unpleasant at the time.
Purge enough, on a regular basis, and thats not snot-its vomit. It drains in to your sinuses, irritates them from its acidity and blocks your nose up. Niiiiice.
Bet you never found that in a book or a pro site, eh?
take care
xxx
ps-it totally clears up after a long period without purging, bit its sooo unpleasant at the time.
Tuesday 6 July 2010
thoughts on diet pills....
They dont work. Well, ok, they do-but only maybe, possibly if your BMI is significantly over 26. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE DESIGNED FOR.
Other than that, they wont do a thing.Fact. They screw up your inside, give you terrible stomach upsets (most of them work on the basis that they block fat absortion by the body, and you end up pooing it out. which aint all that nice.and you lose all control over it.im not kidding), and make you ill. And poor.
Hang around for too long in holland and barrett, or other 'health' shops (i use ' for a reason) looking at diet aids and you will get banned from the shop.This has happened to several people i know, and is v embaressing. Similary, dont bother trying to buy them from chemists, as when you get to the checkouts, staff are trained to redirct you to the pharmacist, who will check your BMI is high enough before they sell them to you. Buy them on the internet, and your probably just buying sugar pills.oh the irony.
summing it up-dont even bother going there.
take care xxx
Other than that, they wont do a thing.Fact. They screw up your inside, give you terrible stomach upsets (most of them work on the basis that they block fat absortion by the body, and you end up pooing it out. which aint all that nice.and you lose all control over it.im not kidding), and make you ill. And poor.
Hang around for too long in holland and barrett, or other 'health' shops (i use ' for a reason) looking at diet aids and you will get banned from the shop.This has happened to several people i know, and is v embaressing. Similary, dont bother trying to buy them from chemists, as when you get to the checkouts, staff are trained to redirct you to the pharmacist, who will check your BMI is high enough before they sell them to you. Buy them on the internet, and your probably just buying sugar pills.oh the irony.
summing it up-dont even bother going there.
take care xxx
Thursday 1 July 2010
How to have a really bad day and still be alive at the end of it...
Go for a really long walk. Doeesnt matter if its raining-MOVE!
Listen to some tubthumping music
Have a little cry-but have a structured activity in mind to help you afterwards.Easier said than done, I know-but try.
Draw, paint, create-whatever floats your boat.
write a blog, write a diary-get it out, it helps.
Call a good friend. Make the effort. Good friends will always be there for you no matter how long its been.
Make a list of all the things that your ED stops you from doing. Then decide if you WANT to change. YOU can only change for yourself.
watch a film. Watch judge Judy or jeremy kyle-seriously, never fails to make me feel a little better! Likewise reading the news of the world!
Call your CPN/team and let them know things are feeling difficult.
Have a shower.
Tidy up
Dance like a lunatic. Actually, i think i do this anyway!
Read something that you really like. Sometimes the nbest books for comfort reading are ones you are familiar with-there is always comfort to be found in the familiar.Likewise music.
Write a letter to a friend.
Spend time with boyfriend/girlfriends, I am CONSTANTLY being told by CPN's that feeling close to your partner/sex/snuggling up is a really comforting thing to do. I'm yet to be convinced, but hey, its all worth a try. I also realise exactly how ridiculous this sounds-but hey, at least i made you laugh right?! :)
Get yourself a giant sized stressball. Beat the crap out of it. Or get a punchbag.
I find kickboxing helps quite a lot.
Take your goldfish for a walk.
Think of things to add to this list and email me-eatingdisorderfairy@gmail.com. The weirder the better!
Knit
dsesign an outfit
do something you love-doesnt matter what it is, as long as it makes you happy.
make some pretty cupcakes
ok you get the gist now.
I have a rule that i have to try and work through my list of distracting activities at least twice-if something doesnt work, move on, etc etc until you settle, before i can even consider doing something more destructive.
Its about developing strategies to distract yourself-the dreaded 'd' word.
you CAN do it. You just have to try REALLY hard.
take care xxx
Listen to some tubthumping music
Have a little cry-but have a structured activity in mind to help you afterwards.Easier said than done, I know-but try.
Draw, paint, create-whatever floats your boat.
write a blog, write a diary-get it out, it helps.
Call a good friend. Make the effort. Good friends will always be there for you no matter how long its been.
Make a list of all the things that your ED stops you from doing. Then decide if you WANT to change. YOU can only change for yourself.
watch a film. Watch judge Judy or jeremy kyle-seriously, never fails to make me feel a little better! Likewise reading the news of the world!
Call your CPN/team and let them know things are feeling difficult.
Have a shower.
Tidy up
Dance like a lunatic. Actually, i think i do this anyway!
Read something that you really like. Sometimes the nbest books for comfort reading are ones you are familiar with-there is always comfort to be found in the familiar.Likewise music.
Write a letter to a friend.
Spend time with boyfriend/girlfriends, I am CONSTANTLY being told by CPN's that feeling close to your partner/sex/snuggling up is a really comforting thing to do. I'm yet to be convinced, but hey, its all worth a try. I also realise exactly how ridiculous this sounds-but hey, at least i made you laugh right?! :)
Get yourself a giant sized stressball. Beat the crap out of it. Or get a punchbag.
I find kickboxing helps quite a lot.
Take your goldfish for a walk.
Think of things to add to this list and email me-eatingdisorderfairy@gmail.com. The weirder the better!
Knit
dsesign an outfit
do something you love-doesnt matter what it is, as long as it makes you happy.
make some pretty cupcakes
ok you get the gist now.
I have a rule that i have to try and work through my list of distracting activities at least twice-if something doesnt work, move on, etc etc until you settle, before i can even consider doing something more destructive.
Its about developing strategies to distract yourself-the dreaded 'd' word.
you CAN do it. You just have to try REALLY hard.
take care xxx
some facts about self injury-Ed fairy style
This is not inteneded to be triggering-but here is your friendly trigger warning nethertheless-
*read with care*
It might not hurt at the time-but we will all tell you just how much it hurts afterwards. And how BORING it gets changing dressings, nurses appointments, the endless endless interogation by medical professionals.
I'm not saying SI wasnt something we all did to cope-im just saying, however much you may feel it helps, its a maladaptive strategy.It doesnt get you anywhere new. Try with all yur might to find something to replace it with.
Covering up scars and making up endless excuses for friends is really tiresome.
Rocking up to A&E, where the receptionist knows your name and date of birth before you even speak is NOT fun.
Infected wounds hurt more than you could ever imagine.
its scarily easy to do a hell of a lot of unintentional damage to yourself.
One of our girls was told at A&E that the doc knew someone who had ended up having an arm amputated, as they had cut the arteries so many times, they were no longer fixable.she just kept taking the grafts off them, and now she has lost her arm.
she was also told about people who have had to have major abdonimal surgery after SI to the stomach.
This is all true.
its about finding other ways-and i know, we know, its easier said than done.
we are not preaching here-heck, we are in no position too-but think about the consequences-it might help you put it off, slowely but surely.
take care xxx
*read with care*
It might not hurt at the time-but we will all tell you just how much it hurts afterwards. And how BORING it gets changing dressings, nurses appointments, the endless endless interogation by medical professionals.
I'm not saying SI wasnt something we all did to cope-im just saying, however much you may feel it helps, its a maladaptive strategy.It doesnt get you anywhere new. Try with all yur might to find something to replace it with.
Covering up scars and making up endless excuses for friends is really tiresome.
Rocking up to A&E, where the receptionist knows your name and date of birth before you even speak is NOT fun.
Infected wounds hurt more than you could ever imagine.
its scarily easy to do a hell of a lot of unintentional damage to yourself.
One of our girls was told at A&E that the doc knew someone who had ended up having an arm amputated, as they had cut the arteries so many times, they were no longer fixable.she just kept taking the grafts off them, and now she has lost her arm.
she was also told about people who have had to have major abdonimal surgery after SI to the stomach.
This is all true.
its about finding other ways-and i know, we know, its easier said than done.
we are not preaching here-heck, we are in no position too-but think about the consequences-it might help you put it off, slowely but surely.
take care xxx
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