Distraction doesnt mean avoiding life

'distraction' is a word you will here bounced around in mental health a lot. And its a word that really gets my back up.

Dont confuse distracting yourself from maladaptive coping strategies, and avoiding life.

If you constantly try and distract yourself from how you are feeling, essentially you will end up avoiding living your life-and thats not going to get you anywhere. What distraction really means is that you have to develop new skills to deal with old feelings. For example, when i get upset, I am likely to deal with that by making myself sick. So what i need to do is learn to re-programme purging as my default setting to deal with upset, and replace it with something healthier, that keeps my mind away from that-something constructive, something i enjoy, you know the things i mean-and if you dont, start thinking about them. I know it sounds airy fairy and annoying-but truth is, recovery is alabout learning new skills to replace maladaptive behaviours, in response to emotional trauma.

Its ok to feel the feelings-its ok to think about them and try and deal with them-distraction doesnt mean avoiding the way you feel, it means trying to deal with it in a more healthy way.

By avoiding the way you feel, ultimately these things will become even nore overwhelming, and bulid up to something that seems impossible to cope with.

I said at the begining distraction-the dreaded 'd' word gets my back up-and it does. because mental health professionals sometimes mix up the meaning of 'distract' with 'avoid'. Hell, its good to talk-seriously, you have to be able to talk about the way you are feeling, get it out-if thats by talking, writing a diary, a blog, youtube vids, whatever. (while i think of it-when I first started trying to recover-i literally couldnt talk about anything. So i started to make youtube videos to help me learn to talk about things. because i had issues with saying things outloud-sounds weird, but it really helped me). Just dont get so busy trying to distract yourself you start avoiding life.

Accept the way you feel-its ok to feel however you feel. you dont need to justify it-but dont avoid it, and distract yourself from the associated behaviours, and not necessarily the feelings.

If this makes no sense then feel free to email eatingdisorderfairy@gmail.com, or leave a comment. I wanted to write this because the distinction between these things is something i find really helpful for myself-but if this just sounds totally whack, or confusing, then tell me so!

just-your feelings always catch up with you.Its better to deal with it - and try to change the way you do it-than avoid it.

take lots of care

xxx

How to have a really bad day and still be alive at the end of it...

Go for a really long walk. Doeesnt matter if its raining-MOVE!
Listen to some tubthumping music
Have a little cry-but have a structured activity in mind to help you afterwards.Easier said than done, I know-but try.
Draw, paint, create-whatever floats your boat.
write a blog, write a diary-get it out, it helps.
Call a good friend. Make the effort. Good friends will always be there for you no matter how long its been.
Make a list of all the things that your ED stops you from doing. Then decide if you WANT to change. YOU can only change for yourself.
watch a film. Watch judge Judy or jeremy kyle-seriously, never fails to make me feel a little better! Likewise reading the news of the world!
Call your CPN/team and let them know things are feeling difficult.
Have a shower.
Tidy up
Dance like a lunatic. Actually, i think i do this anyway!
Read something that you really like. Sometimes the nbest books for comfort reading are ones you are familiar with-there is always comfort to be found in the familiar.Likewise music.
Write a letter to a friend.
Spend time with boyfriend/girlfriends, I am CONSTANTLY being told by CPN's that feeling close to your partner/sex/snuggling up is a really comforting thing to do. I'm yet to be convinced, but hey, its all worth a try. I also realise exactly how ridiculous this sounds-but hey, at least i made you laugh right?! :)
Get yourself a giant sized stressball. Beat the crap out of it. Or get a punchbag.
I find kickboxing helps quite a lot.
Take your goldfish for a walk.
Think of things to add to this list and email me-eatingdisorderfairy@gmail.com. The weirder the better!
Knit
dsesign an outfit
do something you love-doesnt matter what it is, as long as it makes you happy.
make some pretty cupcakes

ok you get the gist now.
I have a rule that i have to try and work through my list of distracting activities at least twice-if something doesnt work, move on, etc etc until you settle, before i can even consider doing something more destructive.

Its about developing strategies to distract yourself-the dreaded 'd' word.

you CAN do it. You just have to try REALLY hard.

take care xxx